I lost my cat about 2 weeks ago, and am beginning to remember to good and happy time with him. He was very relational. When I was sick he sat on my chest for hours, getting warm and comforting me.
Remembering the good time makes me start to miss him.

I am thinking about how much I like two of Emma Bull's books; "War of the Oaks", and my favorite of all the thousands of books, I, compulsive reader, have read- "Bone Dance". This is my favorite because it embodies my most basic philosophy, my spirituality, and has been a constant source of comfort to me.

I spent about 10 of the last recovering from a stubborn MRSA infection in my right knee thanks to the surgeon, staff, fate? All better now, and am regaining strength. Very grateful to be among the living.

I trimmed my tomato plants today. Lots of dead leaves, and a little new dark green growths. I thought about death; my cousin's husband, my best friend's April 1, 2004 [she always loved a laugh], and mine. I feel at 59 I am beginning to understand something of the world. The patterns of human behavior, the seasons. Maybe it is an unusually clear time for me right now. Much of the time pain takes away some clarity. Now that I feel I am growing up, my body is dying. Not at this moment, but slowly, normally- because death is normal.

Much of the last two months have been spent acclimating to my new job, which I like very much. I have about 40 clients who have developmental disabilities to learn about; get an idea how they are doing in their homes, their health, their happiness or not, and such. This has been interesting, but has taken a lot of brain space. Last Saturday we went shopping and I got some oil painting supplies so I can begin painting again after a long hiatus, and some new clothes. Beautiful Flax and Tienello outfits.
It was a lot of fun. I also read a biography of Frank Zappa which I enjoyed a lot, have always liked the little I know of his music. I ordered a CD, and am thinking of getting more in chronological order so I can trace his development.

Started my new job last Monday as a Nurse Consultant for people with disabilities. It's going to be great, I get to see people in their homes, see how they're doing, make suggestions if needed, go to meetings they need with Doctors, and other things. It is truly interesting; I like the people and seeing them for a long time will be good. Except, of course, when something bad or painful happens to them. Maybe I can make it less difficult for them.

Went to a local bar and restaurant up in the foothills tonight after the biggest monsoon I'd ever seen last night. The food is all made from scratch, based on local foods here in the Southwest and delicious. It was beautiful sitting out on the patio and enjoying the evening.

I feel I am rather boring with my posts mostly about work; this is a happy one. I got a new job as a nurse consultant for the state. It is everything I could want in a job, and I'm really happy about it.

The best thing after work, getting into the big beautiful pool in the backyard. It is hot in Tucson right now, about 102 degrees, and that pool feels good and washes away muscle tensions of the day.

Life consists of work right now; work at the office, work in the field, watering and caring for plants, giving antibiotics to my dog [fungal infection], and then bathing them both. One dog gets a bath with special shampoo to get rid of fungal infection, and the other dog gets a regular bath so he won't feel left out. And he does! He gets his feelings hurt because he is always first [in his opinion]. There is also the work of doing all the things necessary for work and keeping us all going. It sounds as though I am complaining, I have always spent much of my life doing work and enjoyed it. Even my hobbies are work-like; sewing, painting, dogs and cats. If I had enough energy I would feel good about it all, but I am still recovering from lung surgery this winter and there's not enough energy to go around. Well, time cures everything. One way or another. I must learn patience. This is not a quality I possess. Guess it's time to start, at least I have some time. My cousin's husband's illness shocked and saddened me. Perhaps this is the reason for all this contemplating.

Today was a wonderful day, my cousin's daughter and her boyfriend are staying with us for a short time and it's been sooo good-they are such fun, creative, interesting, beautiful people. Jean, daughter, made a wonderful apple cake with glaze from my girlfriend's aunt's cookbook. We have had little to no acceptance from our immediate families and somehow that cake made from Aunt Edna's book was more than delicious. My cousin and his friend who is a girl came over and I grilled salmon and made a barley and soy peas and vegetable salad and had the cake for dessert. I have rarely felt such gratitude and pleasure to have family and friends who celebrate with us. It is made more poignant by thoughts of all those who are not here tonight but I think of and miss.